Tripping

Taking a retreat is a popular thing to do. Sometimes we think we need to go somewhere exotic and foreign with a director planning our every minute. I just returned from my version of a retreat. I knew I just needed a serious break and wanted to feel supported and loved. I have several friends in Florida and my Yoga Guru's school is there.  Being on a super tight budget and having not left my Yoga studio alone in three years I knew I had to pick a place that was affordable and where I could be somewhat reachable on a daily basis. So running off to a far corner of the world was not going to work.
My Guru was offering a few short classes I thought would be supportive and relaxing and a friend had invited me to stay with her right on the  water Five,   four years ago?  I am bathed in sunlight. The day was my first graduation. Yoga Nidra training. t the beach,  so Florida it was. I first planned a big elaborate whirlwind of a tour of Florida that involved a friend flying in and going to the Keys. However fate stepped in and pared my plans down considerably. Thank God.
I stayed at the beach with my sweet friend for the first week. I didn't remember what it was like waking up to the sound of birds instead of an alarm. They are such healthy raw foodist and were such peaceful housemates. My body went into a detox shock by the fourth day. I was one of those unhealthy vegetarians who eats a bunch of rice and beans and other heavy foods. But the raw diet took care of that. My friend taught me to relax and how important it is to go to the beach everyday. I also got to see how peaceful and loving a relationship can be by witnessing her and her partner communicating with each other.
First Lesson Learned: Eat healthy and go to the beach often. Allow your partner to have their own space.
I left the beach for the forest. Having to rent a car at the last minute could have been very stressful. But my friend supported me and made sure I was off safely.  Arriving in the last town before the Ashram I explored and found a lovely unexpected French Restaurant that stayed open after lunch just for me and I treated myself to the most delicious cooked food. I love my food warm.  I had not been to the Yoga school in almost three years. It was like putting on a forgotten favorite coat from childhood. I let it envelop me. I could have stayed for half price since I arrived a day early by doing Seva service. But a dear friend told me before I left that I need to allow myself to receive and let go of always feeling like I need to do something. So I just let myself sink in. When I got my room assignment I was to stay in the Guru's house. I was lit up. I saw a CD pile laying at check in and asked about it, feeling like I should but didn't want to ask for any favors. I was told they had been giving them out and there was just a few left. I put it in my bag with gratitude and settled in my room. Yoga Nidra was at five.
There are some places we remember forever. The smell, the feeling,  the air quality is all imprinted in our memory.  The Darshan room at the Institute is permanently a part of the recesses of my being. So much transformation,  revelations,  awakening,  emotional catharsis has happened there and I'm just talking about me personally. Entering there for the first time in years is like reentering the womb. And I allow my self to just receive.
That night I debated about listening to the CD. Finally I slipped on the headphones. It's my Guru's daughter, Kamini. The words entrance me. It's like someone is pulling on a thread tied to something vaguely familiar. As she speaks about stepping into your presence a lightening storm explodes in my mind. I was there. I know those words she is speaking. My mind lights up in a 3d scene. I am again sitting in the room where this was recorded. Her words pierce my heart. Then a tsunami of feelings engulf my every fiber of being. I hear my voice speaking. It's trembling,  filed with emotions.  That day was the birth of my new life as a Yogi,  as my Guru's life student. That day was a precipice in my life and I hear it in my voice on the recording.

Then I remember my first graduation from Yoga Nidra training.  Seeing the world through foreign eyes. I would never be the same from that day forward. I feel a vacuum as if I traveled at the speed of light and am sucked back into the present moment.  I can't believe where I've come from to where I am now.
Lesson Two: You never know how far you've come until you go back. We think we're deciding to be at a certain place at a certain time never knowing that were being placed there for a reason.
The rest of the weekend is a blur of hearing my Guru's familiar teachings and friendly participants. I was really in shock. Back in Orlando I got to see my first meditation teacher Diane Ross. To me she is the definition of the word Ethereal. I am bonded to her in ways only my soul knows. She is the wise guide I needed to manifest so long ago who I can't imagine not having met. I had a very powerful and transformative meditation with her that was to intensely personal and revelatory for me to share here. Fueled by my experience at the Ashram having been the witness to the full circle of my life,  my session with Diane permanently placed my soul in residence in my heart center. I'll never be the same. I love her. I love myself.
Lesson Three: trust the sages in our lives. Reside in the heart, there is no where else.

The next week with my best friend was in fast forward.
Lesson Four: Holding hands and having a best friend is better than theme parks.

I returned to the forest for scripture weekend. I was reunited with sweet souls I had not seen in years. It was reaffirmed that I have a home there. An extended family. I was confirmed in my being that I am a Yogi. The knowledge my Guru shared is to vast to divulge here.
Lesson Five: When agendas are no longer useful people can love more. Find a living master and just love them.

I LOOK FORWARD TO SHARING AND SHARING AND SHARING.
Jai Bagwan