Guys Suck@Yoga

Oh if I had a dime for everytime I met a dude for the first time who told me all the reasons guys suck at Yoga I'd be a rich son of a $#&*!.
In line at Starbucks this morning I was introduced to a guy visiting from out of town about my age. I had to force myself not to roll my eyes as the convo about yoga and guys started. It usually goes as follows:
"I tried Yoga once and it was so hard and I am just not flexible that I never went back. It kicked my ass dude. I was kinda embarrassed cause I couldn't do anything. I can't even touch my toes man. I hurt so much the next day I couldn't believe it. All the girls were doing like these crazy postures. I thought it was going to be easy but I couldn't do Jack.  So I gave my mat away.  It's just not for me. I'm so not flexible."
To which I politely mutter something along the lines of "Yeah man I couldn't touch my toes when I started either. All I did was lift weights. But now I feel great. You just have to pick the right class. Stay with gentle yoga and work from there. Guys are typically tighter and better at strength poses."
The whole time I'm praying that the pissing contest does not continue and that my facial expression doesn't betray what I'm really thinking. Most guys practically turn red from embarrassment that I dare suggest out loud that they need gentle anything let alone Yoga which is a girls thing anyway.
Really Dude?  These guys crack me up. You're friggin' kidding me?  I always thought I was a teste short or had some record low testosterone production when I hear what most guys do for fun. I've never understood going out and electing to hurt my body like most guys do. Mountain biking,  snow boarding,  surfing,  motor cross, hell even skate boarding. That doesn't even touch on martial arts and hanging off the side of a rock. That shit all scared me as a safety freak and older brother who was often put in charge of my siblings safety.
So really 'bro? Touching your fucking toes and doing a few tricep pushups in a room of girls is so tough that you tried it once and never did it again?  Maybe your little girl shorts rode a little to high that day and you bruised your big guy ego. Please don't now tell me how maybe one day you'll try it again or that you really should do some stretching.
Yep. .. he's going to say it. .."Yea man,  um I'm not sure about Gentle cause I'd probably be bored but one day I'll give it a try again."
Yea,  and that's when I'll go out and get on a piece of fiberglass and throw myself down a rocky cliff covered in powder or slam my head against the reef while a great white chases my wetsuit wearing freezing cold ass. No thanks. I'll take the sweaty Yoga room full of girls touching their toes any day.  After all this body builder went from not touching his toes and shoulders so tight I couldn't hold my arms over my head for:60 seconds without excruciating pain to twelve years later doing the splits and putting my foot behind my head.
Believe me it wasn't easy. I got in there, often the only guy,  and worked my ass off. I took every kind of Yoga out there. I suffered injuries from pushing to far. I had to take time off to heal and go back. Yes I even had to stop lifting so heavy at the gym.  Sometimes I felt like some kind of tall weirdo in the room that couldn't do anything But I did it. And the results are I'm less wired,  my joints move and don't ache,  I can breathe deeply,  people comment on how calm I seem and I feel great. My last check up with a medical professional was eight or so years ago and the Doctor said if it wasn't for what I was doing I would be on blood pressure and cholesterol medication because of my DNA so keep doing what I was doing. I never get sick and have more energy than ever.
Sometimes I get the excuse that it's just to expensive. Really?  How much is a mountain bike,  snow board,  paddle board,  the rack to put it on your giant truck and all the gear and clothing?  I've got a plastic mat and some board shorts and a $12 class and I'm not going to get melanoma.
So ok man,  someday maybe you can make it into my Simply Stretch for the non Yogi. I just hope you don't wait until you're injured like most Yahoos. Good luck 'bro. When your man enough to Cowboy Up,  I'll see you in class. Maybe if you realize how many burly athletes are doing Yoga now our how many money making CEOs are meditating you'll get your mat out of hock. See ya.
Troy Cox
Owner Sun Salute Yoga Center
Dana Point